


An Unfortunate Meeting

by andamiro (arysthaeniru)



Category: Bishoujo Senshi Sailor Moon | Pretty Guardian Sailor Moon, Tennis no Oujisama | Prince of Tennis
Genre: Crack Treated Seriously, Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-19
Updated: 2014-08-19
Packaged: 2018-02-13 19:54:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,473
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2163165
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/arysthaeniru/pseuds/andamiro
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kirihara Akaya is too kind to cats. If he'd just left it alone....</p>
            </blockquote>





	An Unfortunate Meeting

He’s running late for the test and Yukimura-buchou is totally going to kill him if he gets another detention for missing practise, but he couldn’t help it! That video game last night had been so addicting and Akaya had been ten minutes away from beating the final boss…for a whole two hours, but still.

In his rush to get out, he trips over this weird black cat. He hisses at it, when it growls at him and is about to go on his way, when he sees a weird band-aid thing on its forehead. Cats aren’t supposed to have that sort of stuff, right? It’s bad for their fur?

He should keep going and be on time for his test, but he thinks about what Niou-senpai would say if he left a cat in need and thinks about how Jackal-senpai is always kind to everything he comes across. “Alright you menace, come here.” he says, with a slight scowl. “Let me take that thing off.”

The cat stills from hissing at him, as if it understands what he’s saying(which is weird, because cats don’t) and presents its head to Akaya regally. Akaya rips off the bandage and frowns. There’s a weird moon-shaped thing on its forehead, in white. “You’re bald in one spot. Weiiiirrdd.” he comments, softly. As his eyes fall to his watch, he swears and ignores the cat’s large growl at him, as he flies off to school. He’s going to be in so much trouble now. 

(X)

He misses half the test, gets a detention and gets one hundred laps from buchou, accompanied by a firm backhand from fukubuchou for being careless. He hadn’t expected anything else, but it is a pain. He stops by at the arcade after practise, but none of the games hold his attention for too long, since he has the high score on practically everything in this old arcade place. It’s not as fun without his senpai, anyway.

As Akaya walks home, he hears the people talking about the wave of crime that’s been going through Tokyo lately. Petty robberies, muggings, serious robberies and general disruption, all being saved by some magical girl they call Sailor V. It’s really weird, he supposes. 

No one really knows anything about it, he supposes, as he arrives back at home, skipping dinner to sit in his room and twirl around on his chair. staring at the stack of unfinished homework due for tomorrow. He should call Yanagi-senpai and ask for help, but he can’t be asked. If he’s honest, Akaya sort of wishes he was like Sailor V. It would make life so much easier to just fight crime all day and not have to worry about tests or laps or slaps from fukubuchou. If he doesn’t grow up to be a tennis player, he wants to be a policeman. A superhero would be better, but a policeman would be cool. 

He’s pulled from his thoughts by the black cat from before, jumping in from his window. “You’re a meanie.” says the cat, quite clearly. ‘I’m not bald. Take it back, you rude brat!” 

Akaya gapes at the cat. “Whaat?!” he asks, looking at the cat with a look of horror. He’s dreaming. He must still be asleep. Maybe fukubuchou slapped him so hard that he’s hallucinating. 

"I’m Luna. And as much as it pains me to say it, I’ve been looking for you, Akaya." says the cat, clearly. "Thanks for the help with the bandaid earlier, that was stopping me from being able to talk. I guess you aren’t all bad."

Akaya pinches himself. Awake. Okay. Okay. Cats can talk. That isn’t so weird, he supposes. He lives in a world where people set fire to nets with a tennis ball and where Tezuka from Seigaku killed the dinosaurs. “So…why were you looking for me, Luna?” he asks, ignoring the previous comments about him being rude. That is totally a bald spot, even if the cat doesn’t like it. 

The cat hands him a weird gemstone thingy, telling him it’s a present (and for the life of him, Akaya doesn’t know where the cat was storing it, either). Akaya is unimpressed as he turns it over in his hands. “That’s it? You wanted to give me something shiny?” he asks, skeptically. No videogames, no cool rackets, just something that the girls in his class wear in their hair?

"There are many things going wrong in Tokyo. Things out of the hand of the police department. That’s why you’ve been selected. You’re a soldier against crime now." says the cat. Okay….

"If I’m a soldier, why the fuck didn’t you give me something useful like a sword or an axe or something? How’s this thing going to help me?" asks Akaya, as he examines the glowing brooch thingy. 

The cat just sniffs and ignores him. “You must fight the forces of evil and gather your allies. You must also find the princess…”

"Princess?" asks Akaya, skeptically, interrupting the cat’s spiel. Like in Mario? "What the hell? How do I do any of that with a glowing gem thingy?"

"Just shout moon, you idiot." says the cat, giving up and glaring at Akaya with reproach. 

"Moon?" says Akaya, as he holds the moon thingy in his hand. He’s engulfed by white light and he shuts his eyes as hears words around him whispering stuff. When he can open his eyes again, he gapes at the mirror in horror. 

"WHY THE FUCK AM I A GIRL?" he screeches, as he stared at himself. He's wearing this weird seifuku thing, with a huge red ribbon that looked super girly! His hair is all long and loose and he has some weird mask thing on his face, which itches like crazy and makes his eyelashes hurt. But the worst part is that he's wearing this super tiny skirt and knee-high boots that makes him feel like some drag queen. No. No, he's wrong, that isn’t the worst part. 

"ARE THESE REAL BOOBS?" he demands of the cat, who looks far too amused. 

"It’s a disguise, Akaya. You are the Sailor Moon." says the cat, but Akaya is too busy hyperventilating at the fact that he hasn’t got a dick anymore and he has boobs and he has long hair and he’ll never live this down!

He blinks at the images that show up in his mask, suddenly. There’s Marui-senpai being attacked by some weird monster, trying to choke him. It looks like Marui’s mum, but it can’t be, because Marui’s mum is nice and bakes cookies and doesn’t strangle kids. “What the fuck am I seeing, Luna?” he asks, as he rips off the mask.

"You have to save your friend." says the cat and Akaya stares at his boobs for a second, before looking at the mask again. He’s gotta help Marui-senpai. Even if he’s a girl.

He sort of jumps out of his window and runs for Marui-senpai’s place, feeling weirded out by the weird swaying, jiggling things his boobs are doing. He goes faster than he’d really expected with the extra weight, and gets there in less than a minute. He kicks the door down, glad that he’s still fairly strong as a girl, and stares at the thing that’s masquerading as Marui’s mum.

"Wait, how do I fight, Luna?" he demands, remembering that he doesn’t actually have any weapon on him. 

"Shout Moon Tiara Boomerang!" says the cat on his shoulders and Akaya’s mouth drops open.

"YOU’VE GOT TO BE FUCKING WITH ME!!!!" He bellows, gaping at the stupid combo of words. How stupid could you get? Like, what?

"Just do it!" shouts Luna into his ear, digging down her claws into Akaya’s shoulder. 

"Moon Tiara Boomerang!" he yells, wincing at how lame and girly he sounds, especially with a higher pitched voice. His crown thingy falls off and looks like a deadly sharp sword, in a circular frisbee shape. That’s better! Akaya grins, and throws it at the creature, with a deadly accuracy from hours of tennis precision drills, and it cuts off the head of the creature quickly. The creature fades into dust and Akaya grins, in triumph, before he realizes that Marui is sort of staring at him with shock and he’s forgotten his mask back at his place.

He just grins sheepishly and makes a run for it, back home, with Luna on his shoulders. 

(X)

When Marui starts talking about how a hot-as-fuck girl saved him from an evil monster, the next day, Akaya sort of bites his lips and glances down at his now flat chest and glares at the smug-looking cat who is curled up on the bench, licking her paws, neatly. He supposes being able to look like a girl while saving the world isn’t so bad.


End file.
